Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
