he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
