...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
