belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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