ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
