My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
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I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
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Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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