What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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