bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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