Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
