i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
