i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
