Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
