I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
