Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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