sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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