there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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