i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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