I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
