So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
