I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
