Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
COCAINE IS GR8
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
