doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
