So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Are we still banned from the library?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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