She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
