Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
