Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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