Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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