Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
