he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
