girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
