So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
