This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize