But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
