I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
