there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
