I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
