shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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