imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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