hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
