I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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