Duck Duck Cougar?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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