It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
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