this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
its liver damage thursday
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
