i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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