Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
