doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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