i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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