Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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