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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
