And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
