Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
