i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
