So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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