I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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