Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
