the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I yelled at your uterus for you.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
