i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
