New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
