I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
